Express
by Manigault
Summary: Okay, another post PwF fiction. G/S of course, who else?


Title: Express  
  
By: Manigault  
  
Spoilers: PwF  
  
Disclaimer: These characters belong to CBS, Atlantic-Alliance, and Anthony Zuicker.  
  
"I do. You know by the time you figure it out you really could be too late."  
  
There. She had spoken out loud what she had kept bottled up inside for months. The feeling of release that she felt when the challenge left her lips was indescribable. The ball was in his court and she was prepared to get on with her life, with or without him. The smile left her lips as she turned the key in the ignition and saw him saunter out of the lab towards his Tahoe. If only she could look at him without feeling warmth invade her veins betraying the calmness she wanted so much to express.  
  
Exasperated she hit the steering wheel with the palm of her hands and watched him pause by his car, his expression one of befuddlement as he reflected on some internal dialogue. Was he thinking of what she had said to him only minutes before? What had she said? With a groan, Sara leaned back against the seat and squeezed her eyes tightly as she silently questioned her boldness. That's what it had been, and now that the euphoria had began to ease she marveled at the nerve she had summoned to approach Grissom and speak through her lips what had been weighing heavy on her heart for months.  
  
"For years." She admitted aloud, in a soft whisper. No, she did not regret her words to Grissom. She was relieved that no longer would she grow old wondering what could have been had she only shown him where she stood. No more hiding. At least not for her, not anymore. She knew what she wanted, and who she wanted, but she would not pressure him. No, he would come to her when he was ready, but she was not waiting for him to make his move. She wanted to feel life. Live life.  
  
With this thought ringing in her ears, she opened her eyes only to find herself being observed from two cars over, by the very eyes she had been contemplating. Grissom stared at her with such a wary expression, she almost laughed. Almost. She thought of rolling her window down and calling to him. She considered sitting there for another five minutes to see if or what Grissom would do. Shrugging off both of these thoughts she rolled her eyes and flipped the car into reverse. She was not going to submit herself to another of Grissom avoidance lectures. Not today. Without conscious thought she found herself driving outside of Vegas on Hwy 93 towards Lake Mead. She felt the need to see the ocean, to feel the breeze from the salty water kiss her face, and chase the imprint of Grissom's eyes from her skin.  
  
Sara avoided the more popular beaches; Boulder Beach, Echo Bay, and settled for a little cove that Warrick had shared with her after one particularly bad case several months prior. Being a local, Warrick knew all of the best sites where one could go to escape prying eyes of strangers. She stepped onto the sand and removed each shoe, her toes coming alive with the sand seeping over the edges and onto the surface of her feet. She rolled up her pants legs and waded into the surf until she could taste the salt from the breeze that she welcomed with eagerness. The blue of the sky reminded her of the blue in Grissom's eyes on a perfect day. With a quick shake of her head she tried to replace this image with one of nature's beauty. Nature that was uncomplicated and undemanding. Beauty that was a free gift and not something she had to chase after with hope of it being reciprocated. With a shiver she gazed into the horizon and watched as two birds danced above the waves, their wings spreading in absolute symmetry with one another and this nature that was so less complicated than one Gil Grissom.  
  
She knew that she would soon return to work, and Grissom would continue to avoid her, assigning her to cases with the guys or Catherine, or alone. Before the explosion she had planned on confronting him about this avoidance. Ask him why he was so upset with her when he was the one who had encouraged her to get a life. This time she had not planned on walking away before he was forced to answer. Then the explosion had shaken her world and made life, her life, flash before her eyes in a manner she hoped to never have to experience again. And yet, the experience had made everything appear so much more clear to her now that she had faced the end of it. She may not have been injured physically to a serious degree, but the emotional aspect was playing havoc with her outlook. It was with this new understanding she faced Grissom. Saw the expression in his eyes alter from taking her question to join her for dinner as her way to avoid his lecture, to one of serious consideration. The way in which he had spoken her name and then did the unthinkable for Grissom. He admitted the attraction between them, while simultaneously confessing he did not know what to do about it.  
  
She considered his gentleness when he had found her sitting on the curb. He had called her "honey". Grissom had not called her "honey" since that night in San Francisco five years before, when she was the one with the commitment issues. She had known her feelings for Grissom were strong even then, but she told herself it was infatuation, a crush that was based on respect. She had blown an opportunity to explore a relationship with Grissom when she had left his bed in the wee hours of the morning, before he was awake, before she could look into those blue depths and drown. She had burned him and he was afraid of jumping into that fire again. This she understood, even as she was impatient for him to get that she was different. She knew her feelings for him were strong and real. They had not faded in all of these years, but had strengthened as she worked side by side with him on cases. He had slowly begun the flirtation again, and made her world brighten when he told her that he cared about beauty since he met her. Instead of taking the opportunity to run with this she had chosen to continue the flirting without serious conversation afraid that he did not mean what he said to the extent she hoped.  
  
Doubts. Fears. Regrets. All negative emotions that had kept them from moving together in perfect symmetry. Sara turned from the ocean and began to walk along the waters edge, no longer caring that her thoughts were immersed in Grissom. She could wait a while longer for the only man that could make her skin tingle with a simple touch. He was worth the wait.  
  
The End. 


End file.
